A letter that cannot be mailed

Dear Tianer: I am a mother. When I picked up my pen at this time, the morning breeze near the window brushed past my ears, and I thought it was the day you looked at me … Ah, the earth just woke up from the thin morning light, and my beating day and night were looking forward to the day your heart was scrawled for you … Ah, I tried to calm myself down and make the blue gentle handwriting beautiful and beautiful, because one day, my Xiaotian son will sense the resonance of the magnetic field that my mother is thinking with you at this time and the common notes in the heart..     Yes, at this time, my mother doesn’t know where to start.     Your father and I got married on January 27, 1989. After two months of marriage, we decided to have children. One day, your sister brilliant red brought a large prawn to her mother, who ate delicious food and an apple before going to bed.. I remember that night, I vomited all night, kept nausea, and sat in the bathroom all night.. The next day, your grandmother said go to the hospital and check it out.     After examination, your mother has already conceived you in her body. How happy I am! Look at the blue sky and see how happy the white clouds are to me! Looking at the blue sky, looking at the white clouds, on the campus and on the platform, I am more full of emotion and singing happily..     I remember when I was pregnant with you for 4 months, my mother rode home at noon as usual. At that time, she had to ride around 40 minutes from school and cross 6 traffic lights.. It was sunny at noon that day, when my mother was riding down the downhill section of Xiguan, she suddenly jumped out from the right side with a man and a woman riding a bicycle and almost stopped her, thanks to her agility. I broke out in a cold sweat with a cool breeze on my back. The young man said that I had torn her girlfriend’s trousers and insisted on going to the hospital. At this time, many people were surrounded around. The first class in the afternoon is an open class in my school, and the time is very tight. I lifted up my eyes and looked around. No one could help me. There were many onlookers. The young man was barking at each other as if he were going to hit people. I was pregnant for four months and I locked my bike while he didn’t pay attention. I quickly pushed the crowd away at the sprint speed of 100 meters and wanted to run to the traffic police station 100 meters away.! Only the police can save me! The young man followed closely after him. Fortunately, his mother was fond of sports from an early age and ran in the morning all the year round.. When I saw the police crying and sketching out the story, the men and women also came after me, and he refused to give reasons.. Police comrades asked,’ Are you two riding the same bike? Li, throw his bike on the bus and return to the brigade for handling! ‘ At that time, I was very grateful to the police comrade who came home to prepare cakes and vegetables for your grandmother. During the dinner, I briefly described it, and in the afternoon I hurried to the school by bike and went to the public class as usual..     This is an unforgettable event that my mother experienced when she was pregnant with you.. ( that pair of men and women is now’ clink porcelain”. ) I have been in class since I was pregnant with you, riding to and from work. I didn’t leave my lovely children until I was eight and a half months pregnant with paunchy bowels.. When I knew I would not teach them, the students crowded the office. That Xiao yang tong asked me with his big eyes open.’ teacher exhaust, why don’t you teach us? ‘ by my Chinese class representative with arm severely turned down. ( Yang Tong, who was not sensible then, is now the mayor’s secretary. ). I didn’t rest until the due date of half a month. I didn’t go to work.     At the weekend, the students in the class came to see me and bought all kinds of toys, the giant panda, ( I still keep it now, it is the same age as Tianer you are. ) Fifty – four of the 57 students in the class came ( those three went out with their parents ), and I asked them to sign my diary one by one as a souvenir. This diary has always been kept. The students came into the house to see me in batches. Why are two dolls?””” Hope teacher exhaust has twins.”. Because the house can’t hold so many people, 20 people come in at a time.     I love life and children very much. When I was pregnant with you, I dreamt of you twice. The big bright eyes stared at me lovingly. The result was exactly the same as the one you were born with..     By this time, it was already bright, and if you want to use brush strokes to painful memories, your heart will be confused.     At the time of 6 months, your head was up. I practiced in bed for a month. I hope you can turn your head down. When the time is 7 months, your grandmother will accompany me to the maternity and child care station and say head down.. Really? I’m glad that I haven’t worked in vain for a month. I can give birth smoothly. On the eve of my due date, I went to the hospital of traditional Chinese medicine to chat with my classmate Wang Xiaohong. She advised me to do B – mode ultrasound here to see if the baby’s head is down. I said yes, not to do it. Kill white blood cells. Xiao Hong advised me to still look at it..     I don’t know. As a result of a bolt from the blue, my son still refused to bow his head upward.. Hip – foot position.It means a Caesarean section is necessary! I rode my bike to Xinhua Bookstore in the fog and mist and stood there for more than 3 hours to check the books on Caesarean section. My mother never had an operation since I was a child. The thought of ” laparotomy” scared my mother.. ( Mom was only 24 years old, one year older than you are now. ). ) ) remember that in the hospital, the doctor asked,’ is there a danger of protecting adults or children? ‘ I saw the sweat oozing from the tip of your nose when your father signed it. Your grandmother was very angry when she knew that she was going to have a Caesarean section. She said I was afraid of hurting your elder sister’s idea..     Head up, hip and foot position is dystocia, your head diameter is 9. The doctor said that only caesarean section was necessary, otherwise it would not be possible to have a baby at all.. Before giving birth, mom and dad shed tears countless times. How many cups of tears do you have. My mother was only 24 years old at that time. She was not in the world. She always thought of ” Japanese Caesarean Suicide Scene” at the thought of smooth abdomen with that ugly scar, and her mother also cried more than once.. Caesarean sections were still rare 23 years ago, and the mother did not want to say more.     The day before mom was about to go to the operating table, your grandmother unexpectedly dropped the orange that came to see my sister Yan hong and bought it, because the elder sister said,’ the day after tomorrow, will you send Yan ling to the hospital with Xiao Wang?? ( Elder sister’s father-in-law is a teacher and Xiao Wang is his driver ) We don’t need you to take care of Lao Li’s affairs! ‘ Followed by bloody curses . Ah, on the third day my mother will be on the operating table, but they are in front of me . ” You are an elder, and the elder sister standing outside the door has never said a word yet.. ‘ but your father clenched his fist to play brilliant red. I quickly sent the brilliant red away.     In the evening, your grandpa’s grandmother called on you urgently, and grandpa said, ” eldest brother and sister – in – law: after a man’s horse, before and after a woman’s birth, Yan ling asked you to take care of it.”. ‘ On the third day, on the day of the operation, your grandmother’s car was delayed, anxious, and the operation time was at 8: 00, when it was winter and snow outside on the 4th of TWELVE.. It was so cold that we had to take a taxi to the Third Courtyard. On the way, the reserved car passed us by.. It was too cold to catch fire. So late.     As soon as she entered the third hospital, her mother was lucky to meet Li bo, a high school deskmate, who was a caesarean section doctor. ( It should be noted that Mom was admitted to the only major liberal arts class in Grade FIFA Class in the Second High School at that time, and she was the vice president and representative of English class at that time. ). Ninety – eight percent of the class went to university ) thanks to our teacher in charge at that time, teacher Sun Yintang.     In the operating room, Li Bo sat next to me, stroking my forehead and chatting with me. But the anesthetic didn’t work. Painful pain. Later, I checked that only 1 % of the people were anesthetized.     Hold tight your legs and endure . Ah, bite the bullet and don’t affect the doctor of the main sword. ( The most authoritative director of the sister’s brilliant red invitation gave her the main sword. ) When she heard the first powerful cry in your life, her mother burst into tears and just endured the severe pain and the doctor’s chatter.. The first cry of that life has been hovering in my ears for 23 years and has not gone far.     Life has been continued, and I have no regrets for my death!     The scalpel was cold across the belly, and the mother’s belly was thick, feeling that the doctor’s hand was pulling inside, and it had been painful and painful all the time..     After 45 minutes of surgery, blood spattered on the white sheet, and the nurse wiped the blood off my face.. When I was lying on the operating table with my lower body bare, I was still very shy and suddenly heard the voice of a man. I nervously asked a sentence:’ How can there be a man? Your grandmother told me to say to the doctor that the incision should be beveled so that I can have the next child. At that time, we did not know whether our son was a woman or not.     I really told the doctor that the knife edge is really inclined.     Do you want a son or a daughter? The doctor asked me during the operation. All right, son! ‘ Li Bo leaped and ran to the door of the operating room. At this moment, I heard it was his son and your grandmother jumped up happily.! Tears came out! Your grandfather, grandmother, sister, three aunts, and old aunts ( Yan Ju was at Liaoning University at the time and did not attend the final exam, preferring to wait for her dear second sister’s operation ) looked dignified, solemn and did not laugh.     When I got off the operating table, I kept shaking, covered four layers of quilts, or cried out cold.     Two or three days after delivery, the knife edge was extremely painful and two dolantins were beaten. Your grandmother sat down on the edge of the bed with snow, a shock, my sharp pain, I did not dare to make any noise. At this moment, your grandmother warmly greeted the lying-in woman in the opposite bed, telling her that natural childbirth is very painful . Ah, mother’s milk is beige. a lot of. I’m sorry to say that my mother’s first breast milk was fed to other children after feeding three hungry babies in the same room..     This is equivalent to six months of suffering for seven days, and it has passed. When I got home, I finally held my son you. Your eyes looked at me with a twinkle in their eyes. When I was nursing, I sucked strongly. My little hand tightly held my mother’s breast. I was so happy.! Your born eyes are open and will smile!Hear mother’s song laugh more joyfully!     Omitted here . Ah, insomnia, medication, unable to nurse, helpless to leave!     Dear Tianer: Today, mothers finally put the backlog in their chests, presenting the long past of 23 years.. You’ve always resented why Mom left you?! Not caring for your mother’s love? Your grandmother said that her mother was going to die and walked away. Who doesn’t like his baby? The flesh on your body? Do you understand Mom’s helplessness at that time? How many moonlit nights, how many stars miss, mother miss you sleepless, tears wet pillow towel . but after 54 days of maternity leave, mother went to work, some fat. Seconded to Xiangping Police Station for 2 months to write the account book. Mother’s words are very good – looking.     Our mother and son have been apart for seven years without a picture of missing. Jiefang Primary School, ” You are Tianer’s mother, aren’t you?”? The expression ” raise your hand and cast your foot” is too similar! Dear Tianer, my son and mother are calling for your return in their hearts! How many certificates of honor are not as warm as the hug you gave your mother!     This is a letter that can’t be mailed. I hope my son will see it as soon as possible.     A mother’s bleeding heart, crying and speechless . Ah, the world’s path is vicissitudes of life, my son can understand? Thanks for life, thanks for everything!     Your incompetent mother, Qi Yanling, started writing at 4: 30 a.m. on August 9, 2012.