Part One: Recent care very quiet heart, sit down to the idea of writing very little time.After a major change in the work, accompanied by the more middle-aged care home octogenarian parents, the text also repeatedly expressed worry and guilt of the heart for the elderly, how many times sadly cried.And was followed by the decision Destiny’s Child crucial moment – the college entrance examination, my heart the ups and downs, both worry and anxiety, care co-exist with prayer, have gone through ups and downs together.And children bear the entrance frustrated with the strike, received unsatisfactory institutions.He approached an ordinary college away from home in the very reluctant in. Although I can not day and night to accompany the old man, the child’s side (now elderly, children, and I separated three, and very far apart), but my heart was with them, a phone, a message, make me this stars anxiety heart some comfort.Sometimes I wonder why I can not clone to three people, a stay with the old man, with a child around, living out a.So my heart will split into three, and sometimes care for the elderly, children sometimes miss, of course, sometimes the service is the industry. After all, the old couple such a great age, my knees on a child.Fourteen years ago, I was in order to facilitate care for the elderly, all the way to the outside from Shandong, Liaoning, gazing, cooking and cleaning, greetings and happy.Now more and more when they need someone to take care of, but I threw them away from home, wandering alone on the outside do.From time to time passing and my heart bursts of pain, like a knife in general, spent countless sleepless nights.When thunder and lightning when the storm, when a Yuemingxingxi I miss the heart back to the old man. Before a child to college, never left home, care has been around, it can be said that all sorts of love, fallen in love with.When he met not liking the thing, when he was frustrated when he was wronged, we will be the first time consolation, exhortation, and actively assist in resolving.When cold and windy, sent warm clothing; the dead of night, waiting in the street; when torrential rains, hold up an umbrella; when Toutengnaore, but after a dash around, medicine or watering.Now the child more than three thousand miles away from home, alone, reading on the outside, real worried, per call, are trying to capture the child’s mood and situation, she could not bear to hang up in the hands of a microphone, one thousand Reminder 10000 asked, endless thoughts , has been so anxious to talk with the child and care, children only hear the familiar, kind words, the hearts before they get some comfort, put down the microphone, began to miss enveloped between heart.Especially when they heard the children outside encounter not liking thing, aggrieved, my heart like a knife in general, can not wait to fly around the child all of a sudden, in the face with your child, to soothe his broken heart.Wish it could have been that way for the children to hold up the sky! Of course, I know his strength is small, and drop in the bucket.But the feeling as long as the children waited at the side, heard the child’s voice, my soul will get some comfort. Today, the elderly and their families, the children, I am far from the minds of the root miss this long-term, deep stretch Nanjing, Fushun, and I am about to turn a guest in Beijing, but my heart was divided into three a. Sometimes I often think, I nearly middle-aged (especially as a woman), why should it choose away from home?Why again to choose a new working environment it?Spur of the moment, is the life force, in order to better realize the value of life, perhaps this factor have it all.In any case, since came out, it had no choice, I would not hesitate to go.Only one sentence to comfort himself: “People have joys and sorrows, month also wanes,” the matter ancient difficult wholly. Remote Blessing well-being of the elderly!Prayer children have achieved, and good luck! Part II: worried about last night, I had a dream, a very bad dream.I dreamed that my mother left me, never left.In the dream, I am like a helpless child, crying desperately, desperately running, I want to pull the mother’s hand again, even more than that when his father passed away feeling sad to be more intense.Finally, awoke crying, wake up is in tears, sitting on the bed, a myriad of thoughts, feeling really self-evident, it is really just a dream?I do not believe in yourself like a hand pulling, really hurt, good, original is really just a dream….. Originally intended to use the time to rest on thirty-five about Hupenggouyou walk around and look, may after this dream, this completely out of mind.A very strong feeling, I want to go home, go home to see my mother, accompanied her home.After all, my mother this year is the 78-year-olds can say that I could take the mother’s time is also one of the few.I recall the time I accompanied her for so many years, and indeed very little, really extremely guilty.Ever since I was 18 away from home, school, work, has been 20 years, because where I work about four or five hours’ drive from my hometown, so in addition to outside the home when the New Year every year, like “five.A ” National Day ‘holiday, basically not go out to play, just rest in their own little home.I go home to see my mother have thought, but the thought of her mother’s good health, plenty of time, and therefore no how to go back.In this way, year after year between, inadvertently discovered a mother is white in hair.This is not a dream woke me, maybe I have not discovered that my mother can not afford to have the age of the. People often say “young couples to old partners”, and his father left us for 16 years, and that is in the 16 years my mother is not with the.In addition to Chinese Lunar New Year sons and daughters home mom to give a brief reunion brought a trace of joy, but really hard to imagine that 16 years is how come Mom.Perhaps in the eyes of her daughter, my mother is always a sheltered harbor can always rely on is, never strong, so the mother will naturally only to ingest, forgetting her mother had come to need care, we need to rely on the age of.Last year New Year back home, at dinner, found her mother’s action is no longer so agile, even forgot to wipe the mouth of rice, was also felt her mother do not pay attention, in retrospect, they would feel sad, how can this time mom blame it? When the New Year back home each year, the car, always looking forward to see my mother’s eyes at the station, we saw the car, despite the crowded crowds, to help us pick something, fuss, his face is a happy smile.Once home, the mother busy preparing to get together, then I believe that even at home are happy with the air.Later, near the end of the holiday, the more I did not hear what my mother said, but obviously I was able to feel the loss of her mother.I remember the night before I left once, because during the day and eat bad stomach, up to the toilet at night, my mother passed the window of the room, I heard my mother’s sigh, I heard my mother kept turning over the original mother has failed to sleep peacefully.At that time did not think of it, is not it just feel sleepy little older home and carry on.Now slowly retrospect interpretation of what can only be called “care”.Because mother knows, this departure, but also routinely meet again until next year, and a year who do not know what will happen ah!Thin recall, to express our bit of mind when children, at each home to my mother some money, my mother always push, said: “No, no, you need to spend money on the outside, I was at home does not take too much money “.And I think that ignorance is a kind of dutiful to my mother some money, you will be able to conceal her mother care for children.Little do they know the mother needed more of a human nature – enjoy “family happiness”. Remember the holidays are over several times to return the unit to work, when to leave the house, because my mother is not very good legs, so you can not then stop off at, and we just stood in front of her house waving until we gradually in her line of sight disappear.Once, I inadvertently looked back, but saw what my mother wiping her hands to the face, Oh, my myopia, careless far I have failed to see my mother’s eyes wet with tears.After the wake, the guilt I can get out of her mother’s sight, but never get out of my mother pull around Menghun miss heart. Many years, accompanied her no good to sit, did not accompany her mother reward under the spring season, there is no cut fruit for a mother (perhaps the mother had eaten no more).Yes, this year anyway, but also take some time to go home with her mother, do not let yourself regret, do not let my mother waiting.Part III: worried about planned military training courses for seven days: start loading leader August 24 afternoon, the end of the 31 in the morning, from August 31 to start a holiday afternoon, the evening of September 2 to study up on the school.According to the school schedule, I decided on August 31 at noon to read with parents pick up their kids and go home.8 31 morning, corn sheller store temporarily out of stock, from a distance is less than the purchase has been, I have decided to temporarily forced into some of the guichi to meet the needs of the season.For fear of delay pick parents and kids to go home, I called ahead of time to read along with the mother, “in case I have not reached the school school, you must wait for me, I’m a little late to the quasi.”Because the mind share of anticipation, I opened the door to the truck to guichi home purchase, in just over two hours, until I then drove to the residence of his son read along, son just came home from school.During his cousin and aunt in another school on behalf of third year teacher was there, they had come to visit my mother.Eaten the meal, and I teach physics cousin comes to learning his son.Cousin said: “Compared to the terms of middle and high school subjects in the knowledge to be a little more difficulty learning a bit more, so learning should be different with junior high school.Junior high school first and second grade learn well, or you can make it up three days, a three-year high school sophomore is the key, we must lay the foundation, my mind do not hold a high school sophomore Play and Learn, and then to high school back up the idea, because more than high school curriculum, knowledge points, difficulty bigger, people have this idea that time I am afraid powerless.”After the cousin asked his son to find the test results, I said this son of the math test to get well, only 124 points, I am going to ask cousin when makeup is appropriate, I hope that mathematics, English, physics, chemistry, etc. easy pull-apart courses to his son mend.When we talk about making up his son’s issues, while watching TV while listening to our talk son unhappy face, always urging asked me when I come home, he was unhappy in the heart of loneliness. Off the aunt and cousin, I’m eager to go home with parents carrying son burned up the home to catch up, and pretty soon, we returned to our home that truly belongs.The son returned home bags 往沙发上一 throw open the hall television, cable close his favorite cartoon, issued from time to time in the adults it seems very childish giggles.About two hours later, the children are still watching TV, when I passed the living room when I heard the mother’s nagging voice: “not see such a long time, do not look for a book, (or) break.”Thinking about her son until the end of military training, I said to his mother:” He has not culture class, just let him go!”After dinner, my son did not delay a moment, and went upstairs to go play on the computer.After a child, I went upstairs, in front of the play is strong son said: “Today at noon, in front of uncle, your attitude is very unfriendly, you are now in high school, you should know what is polite, no matter What we are talking about, are for hello, you can do that to the next.Future as long as you can correct your attitude towards learning, all subjects also, I take you home, I can still let you play for a computer, but it depends on your own future performance.”For me, being Hing head son like to know if the promise to understand the exchanges between us depend very harmonious.Nightlife net I went to his son, said: “In the three years your junior high school years, I’m not your mother, you pick every day to school, go home, you have every day around us, every day we tube you, watching you learn , grow, and my heart at ease, because of the business today, your mother and I can not stay long on your side, you have to listen to my grandmother, then consciously and earnestly study.You have to match words with deeds, not sham, this world does not regret it, as you yourself said in the article, “I’m not cold, it’s time urging us forward.”.In fact, you have not small, should know how to learn was originally your own business, we sometimes refer to themselves or not to add any ideas in your head, but we are from your parents or elders, we always have at heart a kind of do not trust emotions, this may be the responsibility of parents and elders human right!”Talking, I feel both a frustration and emptiness of the ingredients in my interest in being involved with this ingredient, I get a little choked up voice, eyes and simmering fear of son noticed, did not say , and I walked out of the bedroom and closed the bedroom door, I sat on the stairs outside the door, as enjoy and let the tears flowing silently. Between now and the next few years, the original family of five at home in the long term only my wife and I.Remember the first two days of military training his son at night, my wife said she wanted to son, my wife asked if I wanted, I said that I, too.Our memories together at the school gate together our respective pick-up son or the scene, and at night to make up classes when the situation in front of the teacher’s house.Now, three years in junior high school because our son to school because of the habit turn his son to study in different places and change, we will be long-separated because of his son and take off our supervision and we become not worry, inner emptiness and loneliness, we seem to understand: time will want us to go slowly and read by an article shouted “care” of emotion. Part Four: There is a feeling worried about is care.This is encouraging people to aging, people are white hair, even a piercing pain. Middle-aged, increasingly worried that more together, this feeling was intensified. Chat tonight and son, the son said, “is the pressure everywhere,” “deceptive”, “traps” and so on.Let him say what was going on, he said the inconvenience to say.A good simple child, and students has always been a friendly boy, a freshman student, and students time to spend just over a month, there are so many mixed feelings!Thirty-four separated by thousands of miles, body single Li Bo, recovering from illness, son, how will parents do not keep in mind? Last year son was ill in hospital, I have time to go the whole year to visit the elderly.A whole year, I suddenly found his father changed man.His loud voice, which sounds neat?His spiritual eyes which?So dull, so stiff, sometimes trembling hand how?I toss and turn, sleepless nights. Two years ago, I met my sisters around, I always say “good skin”, “young” and the like, last year, this year, I obviously old.The wrinkles, white hair increasingly multiply. Two years ago, the father of recurrent coronary heart disease, eye disease and other trouble, the hospital three times a year to live.Last year, another son hospitalized. Into middle age, my young face had lost its color, young at heart becomes heavy.Often at sixes and sevens, insomnia, dreams, memories drift parents, children think.